PISSED

I am SO PISSED. As a taxi driver told me, the society is made up of 'xiao ren' , so if dont have the DNA to act in front of lao ban, I'd to face the 'repercussions'. I can only tell myself, at the end of the day, its only a job. I wont change my DNA for something so transient.

Pouring

Its been pouring nonstop, hope the sun comes soon, especially since our company function this year will be held on a yatch on friday. Really would be a big disappointment if it still rain.. We could still be on the yatch, but we'd be inside, and not able to enjoy the 'outdoors' as much.. can only sing the childhood melody 'rain rain go away'...

My Nasty Self

I can be quite a Bitch at times. Nasty and curt. Those colors show through during work at times, though most of the times, I think I am quite flexible and easygoing. Today , I wrote a reply to a colleague who was responding to some email. My reply was , to some harsh and curt. To me, though I was only pointing out the obvious.

Nevertheless, I dont want to apologise for what I think. Its my opinion , and I think that I am entitled to it. I know I definitely am not been smart or strategic or wise or having any high EQ. But in the matter I am talking about, there is no point to be nice, because been nice wont bring me results, as I so discover.

My nasty self inspired me to pen the following "urban heated exchange of words" that look suspiciously like a "rap" . if u got ideas on how to make it more INTENSE or more NASTY or more TRASHY further, let me know.


So I am not cool , yay, so I am a "twat", yay
Nope, baby, nope, baby, I am not that hot yah!
my mood is freezing good yeh
it aint bad ,no but what you said makes me snap yah!
Dont you mess with me , dont you mess with me!
Get out now if you cant deal with my heat
Dont come with your limp excuses and junk up my beat
shut up now and just get on with it !
Just deal with it and quit been a Drip!

L-O-V-E

After watching korean dramas, and the like, I am beginning to wonder what its really like to truely fall in love? I confess that I forgot how it feels like. I havent feel that heartbeat, or all the works for a very long time. If its to be like what is 'experienced' in the love dramas, then I definitely dont feel that!

I havent been so rational for the longest time and its quite a strange thing for me. Searching for the right words, I think I mean I havent really see myself so skeptical and cynical for the longest time ever. Maybe to some, I am not really that cynical... but still its a far cry from my 'too gullible self'.

Is it like what its like in the korean love dramas? yet to love that way must be so taxing on the soul..To love in such a manner must take alot of energy and toil. I doubt people have so much energy to 'burn' in that way.. Is it like the fairy tales? Yet that is really strange in our world. Just like show 'Enchanted' I watched recently with my friend. To be so doe eyed and innocent and trusting about the wonders of Love just dont do it in our modern society. Cynicism seem more at home here!

So what is L-O-V-E?


I suppose its not melodramatic, I suppose its steady and I suppose it'd be here before one ever know it.

But still.. I have no idea. The definition of it certainly is different for each person.

2008 is coming soon

It seems not so long ago, I was wondering what 'resolutions' to make for 2007. Barely have I made those 'resolutions' and 2008 is round the corner, in another month only. Already I feel december is almost over..

Shudder, Gulp huge gasps of air, as I see 2008 approaching, and Gulp again.. another year is here!

I am not going to 'rush' to strike off any checklist as 2008 comes.. its going to be yet another quiet affair. .though this year, my diving friends have arranged to meet for 'count down'. I am wondering why really...

Perhaps if we dont usher in the new year with any 'celebration', time would 'mesh' together, and there wont be much difference between the years... As I recall my past, my memory is really marked by milestones, rather than time or chronology.. sad to say, there were not many significant milestones for me to cram my mind with..

What do I wish for 2008? Hopefully I'd have lots of money, good health, love and friendship and oh Peace and harmony at home. Thats so Important. :P (not world peace.. i doubt that will happen anytime soon)

Sundays

I used to spend sundays going out and meeting friends too. These days, I try to keep my sundays free and dont meet anyone on this day. Its sacred to me, not exactly in the religious sense, but rather I like to spend my sunday with family or just to chill at home alone.

These days we would sometimes go out for dinner at nice restaurants or lunch in new places. We never used to dine out much, simply cos my mum is such a fantastic cook. But now, once in a while, we would dine out on sundays. I especially enjoy my sunday today. Not only do I get to sleep late today, I also just rest and did nothing much. That to me is luxury as my schedule is usually v tight the rest of the week. At times, I have dreary work deadlines to meet especially when I work on middle east programs, but the sloth in me would invariably take a short cut, and leave work to be done on mondays..

I love my 'alone' time and its nice to be able to relax in the comfort of my room. Perhaps I am getting older? Quiet times and resting are more and more important to me now than before..

Clubbing and Liu San Jie

Remember those old shows like liu san jie, when groups of men and women would sing along side each other, or to each other, and invariably they'd be serenading to each other about their love, and dance away? In modern context, this is akin to 'clubbing' when you'd still see people 'go in droves' and check out the scene (as some people say).

Familiar?

Thank you dear friends for your lovely wishes

Finally my birthday was over yesterday. V pleasantly surprised to receive birthday greetings from quite a few people I werent expecting to hear from. Thank you very much for your lovely wishes.

I am glad for a quiet celebration. Met my close buddies for an uncut version of Lust Caution yesterday after massage and facial (took half day leave after i touch down from dubai.. had to drag my feet to massage, as I was still v sleepy!)

Tony leung look so sad, his eyes speak volumes. I like him a lot. think he and Tang wei acted real well. Wang Li Hom is rather disappointing. Didnt act that well, think he is much much better with music.

I am feeling thankful for the companionship and friendship I have. thanks v much dear pals.

I think I have known some of you for the past 10 years or more , some I have known for more than 5 years. Others, since I am 18. Hmm, we have come a long way since then huh? Hope our friendship age well like good wine / or single malt whiskey.(the alcoholic in me talking here!:P )

Unknown in the future

yet another colleague resigned. I guess in these good times , people tend to leave faster. Alittle sad, but also realise I dont know what my future holds. Nor do I know what I want to do in the future. The future remains a big question mark for me.

Now I am lost basically.

Escapism

I felt buried in my work lately. Theres so much to do lately. Whenever I felt suffocated, I feel this immense need to escape, and I find that escaping into the world of drama a good release for me. I enjoy watching dramas, particularly happy ones. Though lately, I find myself more drawn to sad , melancholic stories. I guess life is too mundane at times. In our highly connected, breakneck speed kind of world, I find no real good way to 'escape' other than watching drama, when I see the 'lives of the characters' unfold and view the world through their lives.

Perhaps my own life story is too mundane and boring, hence, I enjoy watching drama, when things are often magnified, to create interesting twists and turns.

Through drama, I can rest my mind and watch stories unforld mindlessly.. and best part is its got nothing to do with me. I found my 'freedom' while I remain a 'captive audience' watching drama.

Let me think if I have other forms of escape. I am fortunate that I could 'escape' this way, even momentarily and I am very thankful for this.

Poster BOY.... No.. Poster old guy

During lunch, saw this old man, 'wearing' a carboard poster card with the words "Steak at xxx place, selling for $3.50"..

The sun was burning brightly and he was standing in the hot sun, with the giant poster over his body. He didnt move around and was just standing there. No one took much look at him. The sight is very disturbing to me..

My colleague told me, thats probably a retiree who has to work because he didnt have enough to live on. How about, maybe he just wanted to find time to kill??.. whichever way we look at it, I cant help but feel upset at this. Perhaps I thought of 'retirement' as 'golden years' when we can do what we want, we can choose work we like, etc. But I am too naive. Even if we like to work till older, and can contribute, companies may not hire. Even if the company did hire, will the older worker be regarded as 'poor souls' who have to work ? (like the way I feel now?)

Then also brings in the question of what can I work as when I am 60 and beyond? Other than a professor or teacher, or consultant or 'advisor' , where age is deemed as 'wisdom' , and not too 'slow', which other areas would be good for workers beyond 60?

I suppose a better solution would be for me to ensure I invest, have enough savings and not be too poor when I retire.. and I better also hope that I dont live too long to an old ripe age.

Sorry for this depressing post... My mood has been a little depressed lately.

FACEBOOOK

Am sure by now most people would have heard of facebook, since its been in the news after microsoft offer an 'obscene' amount of money to buy over the site. That aside, its really amazing as I found some 'long lost' friends from this networking portal. Just got to know from facebook that some of my old pals and ex colleagues are married. If not for facebook, I probably wouldnt have known, having lost some of their contacts, etc.

Now, I am hoping I can manage to contact my secondary school friend, wenkang. Too bad I dont have his email. We used to be really good buddies. Just too bad we lost touch.

I am feeling like Rip Van Winkle. You know how it feels like when you suddenly connect with people from your past and discover changes and how you were not aware of those changes in the first place? thats how i feel now.

Of course its normal for people to come and go in one's life, but I hope I would always have my dearest close friends with me, growing "old" together.

DEFINITIONS

Some "tongue in cheek" thoughts that came to mind recently.

BOSS
Someone with BALLS. If the person doesnt have the balls to take responsibility for actions, to take charge, then the person isnt a "BALLS" (PUN Very intended)

POLITICS
Its a game when communication makes mountains out to be molehills and molehills become mountains.

For eg. when costs increase by 10%, but communication will deem such costs as one of the lowest in the world, when other countries experience higher costs

when salaries are very high, expensive peanuts, in the millions, communication will deem that its very low, compared to what one can get in private sector.


Person with POWER
Someone who is most skilled in stepping all over others, making everyone else FLAT AS crispy THIN PIZZAS and MUTE as DODO (meaning extinct)


SANDWICH / MIDDLE CLASS
Been caught between the deep blue sea and fiery hell. one who is neither rich enough to enjoy tax breaks/investment planning/etc, nor poor enough to enjoy charities/funding/etc
Everyone else in between slog like mad, pay the tax, and isnt any better off.


CPF
Something that you dont use unless you are buying house, dead, or past 65 or 70? or 90?????


HEALTHCARE

Care of the ill who can pay. (reference: documentary : sicko)


AGING POPULATION
>50% adults who are in their 50-60s and still working


Higher Life Expectancy
When you expect to be dead, but somehow you are not.



disclaimer : the above are meant to be tongue in cheek and if there is any strong coincidence to anything, its really just COINCIDENCE!

FLIP FLAP ROTI PRATA

Recently, I saw how words can be twisted and turned to one's advantage. Even words the person said before will be be turned around and put in another manner, all to the person's advantage. This flipping and flapping makes me think of ROTI PRATA. Very apt for people like that right down to the food's origins .

SYMPTOMS OF A FLIP FLAP ROTI PRATA HOMIEN SAPIEN

1) When he/she said "Lets do it, We can take the risk.."

Situation 1
when things go awry... She/He said : why did you do it? you are the one who insisted on doing it. You said it was ok to do it. (When from the beginning the person was agreeable and basically egged you on)

Situation 2
When things go well.. She/He said : see we should do this, I was the one who said this would be good.

2) When he/she said Why are we doing this? to something that was suggested by Him/Her
He/She said Why are we doing this? Are you sure ?

Situation 1
When things go well.... He/She said : Lets see if this can be further developed.. I was the one who encouraged you.. I gave the idea

Situation 2
When things go awry... He/She said : See , we shouldnt have done this in the first place, it was upon YOUR insistence that we do it


There you go. Either way, you dont win with a person like that. There is NEVER any side to a coin in this case.
Just like ROTI PRATA.. FLip Flap FLip, any side, you can eat it, with sugar, curry or plain.

Amazing Melbourne

Yep, back from Melbourne. I love the cool weather. It wasnt too cold when I reached Melbourne, though it did turn chilly when I was on my way back to Singapore. Indeed, Melbourne is pretty liveable. You get the good mix of the city life and the suburban life if you prefer a quieter lifestyle. I went to great ocean road with Jo, philips island and yarra valley with my spanish classmate, soon, and his family. Hanged out quite a bit in the city. Also, met felicia for breakfast together with soon on sat morning. Its so good to meet felicia, too bad I wont be able to meet her in shanghai later this yr. She'd be going to taiwan next year. We had a good laugh, cracking up. :)

The most amazing part about the trip was the surprise and unknown elements. Though I planned to meet up with friends like jo, soon and felicia, the most surprising part is that I made some new friends. Jo introduced me to her Singaporean friend , vonny and vonny brought her pal, JJ along. The 4 of us clicked instantly and we chatted for ages. I think the 'highlight' was friday when we basically stayed through the night at a 24 hr coffee place, lincontrol and chatted till morning 6 plus!. Thats like 8 hrs of solid connection. I am still amazed by it. I havent stay up this late for ages , chatting with pals.
Both of them are singaporeans, working in Melbourne now. They have been in Melbourne for the past 10 years. I admire that they are striking it out in a foreign place on their own. Would be nice to do that.

I love the sights in Melbourne, the nature , and the quaint little towns along great ocean road. I love philips island when we saw the little fairy penguins waddling back to their homes in the burrows. So CUTE! I also saw mating seagulls and their eggs..Also saw wild koalas really close , up front plus 'warnabee' ? (smaller kangeroo like creature.. i thought the name sounds funny, like 'wannabe'. :D


Melbourne wont be the same for me after this trip. Whenever I think about Melbourne now, I'd remember the lovely chilly weather, the sights , sounds, amazing mix of food and most of all the friends I've met and the friendship I've made.

Right here waiting for some more great times in Singapore, having your fav. local hawker fare. :)

Count Down to Melbourne

I am excited and apprehensive about trip to Melbourne about my trip this friday night... Excited cos I am taking a break, having a holiday in down under and its gonna be cold winter..Plus I'd be meeting some friends.. will be really fun..... Apprehensive.. cos I'd be leaving some work behind, which I'd pray hard to be ok, smooth going, no major mishap..

Anyway, I'd be checking my emails along the way during the break and still accessible on my mobile..

Whatever it is, I am glad about the break. :)

Horrible Resort, Redand Lang Island

Just back from my scuba diving trip at Lang tengah island (island between perhentian and redang) and had a horrid time. Traces of how stingy the resort is can be seen in the way operations are run.

1) Food served was substandard. First time I felt I need to fight for food at resort, else there would be nothing left. Though they say they can cook for u, but then its limited. Dishes served are mainly carbo based stuff.. with some miserable vegetables. weird looking fried sausages that look shrivelled up, fish was served at one of the meals but it was just the tails and heads.. even the bbq dinner was not really bbq dinner. Only sting ray was bbqed. and the rest are all fried stuff..
I think NS men have it better than me, at least their food is catered and of definite better quality!@#)@!

2) Noisy people. The resort was packed full. Some canton beng and hokkien beng were around. The most noisy of the lot was a guy we nicknamed Mr Pink because of his love for pink/red/purple t shirts. He was noisy in the boat (on our way to the island, he was the lone noise maker, and the rest of us were trying to sleep!) , noisy in the water (we saw him shouting when he was snorkelling near the resort), basically NOISY. (majority of the people were from insurance group was from penangwho won the incentive trip there. If i were the agents, I wouldnt meet my target on purpose)

3) We wanted late check out and that was the criteria we had when we first booked the resort. They said ok ok, but when we were on the island, they said have to see the wind condition, etc. They actually were thinking of putting us on the small speedboat back to mainland (and not a bigger boat). They asked if we wanted late check out, do we want lunch? and lunch cost 15RM! no thanks.. not for the crap lunch. In the end, the weather was rainy, and we had no choice but to check out early. It was fine.. There was not enough space on the boat and we stood the whole ferry journey holding on for dear life as the boat went thru the sea in the rainy weather) . ANother huge mistake on the resort's part : Over promise! Under deliver.


The irony of the whole trip was we had a very good time in trengganu. Checked into a backpacker inn while waiting for our 7pm coach ride back to singapore. The inn was v clean. 20RM for a bed and locker for half a day, with free internet access, plus there was cable TV. what more could i asked for ? Plus it was clean and there was air conditioning.


Lesson learnt? I will choose to go with my dive school, Mako, next time. The places they go to , or recommend are usually quite good. This trip just make me feel like diving even more!

The Golden Years Ahead?

Yesterday's sunday times seem to echo the tagline "The Golden Years Ahead" very prominently, with its special mention of Singaporeans who splurge on $580 risotto, flashy cars, million dollar condo, and the like. What the papers fail to mention is how many of such singaporeans are there?

We often forget the papers only report what its audience is interested in. Even the 'proper' and not 'tabloid' papers do that ok...
Hence, I'd take what I see in print , particularly the papers with a pinch of salt. Perhaps I am too much of a skeptic. or is it a case of sour grapes?

Yet when I strolled along orchard road, from grange road to botanic gardens on Saturday, I observed the myraid of landed properties and the size of these sprawling mansions. There are indeed many uber rich in Singapore. Whether they splurge on birdnest mooncakes (888 bucks each), etc , I wouldnt ever know since I am not in the 'inner clique'..

But then again, if I am THAT rich, I probably wont care what I spend on huh? Its only because I am not , that I am looking at all these... with hmmm... 'sour grapes' ? :p

When will man stop using God as a scapegoat?

I am very apalled to learn about the death of the south korean pastor who was killed by the Taleban in Afghanistan. I just hope that the hostages will be released soon, by some work of miracle... though I am not too hopeful.. I am not sure how the situation is like right now, I havent read any news. I hope that no news means good news.. The Taleban has even gone on to say they encourage more 'kidnappings'..

I also just read about the bombing in the red mosque in Pakistan.. All the violence commited in the name of God makes me wonder.. when will man stop using god as a 'scapegoat' for their own atrocities and selfish agenda?

I am not going to start 'preaching'. I am not hopeful that the violence will stop anytime soon. Just flip through any history book and its pretty easy to read about violence and wars. If it feels like there is more violence in this new 'generation', then I beg to differ. Its probably that we are more 'aware' now when we are 'older' (when we were younger, maybe we didnt pay that much attention). If some said the 70s were the golden era, alot of peace , etc. then I beg to differ again. Memories play tricks on us and those times were violent and turbulent too.

I suppose its 'safe' to conclude that it is man's sinful nature.. There is always a 'reason' however 'irrational' behind our 'actions'. Man is fully capable of rationalising any decisions made.. Furthermore concocting stories and glorifying the cause..

Technology may have advanced, lives may have changed. But we remain very much the same..

近 朱 者 赤 近 墨 者 黑 。。

http://www.newscientist.com/article.ns?id=dn12343

Got this article from friend. From the way things go, does that mean I better make friends with skinnier people too (to balance up) and probably make friends with 'richer' people, to balance the 'wealth' level? Haha. Maybe huh?

The article reminds me of the chinese saying. There is , I think, some semblance of truth. If you make friends with people who are negative, invariably, you'd be influenced. Likewise, if everyone around you strive to excel and are 'high fliers', then you'd somewhat be driven as well to want to do so.

I suppose this is like 'group think'...

I dont like this conditioning, but I think I am still 'subjected' to it. Can I be like the 'Matrix' , and get out of the 'system that bind me' ?

Property Woes

My colleague has starting looking for an apartment. The current rental unit she is staying in may just go en bloc next year. In view of the prices that seem to be only increasing, not falling any moment, she thought she better start looking. For those who had bought their homes before the hike , they will most likely be very glad. For those with additional housing and who wants to take this chance to sell (since they already have a roof over their head), they can see themselves alot more richer. Some businesses are also hit . Gaia Yoga has closed its business, citing property rental hikes and inability to sustain business at current costs. (maybe also due to intense competition)

Hopefully the prices will be more reasonable a few years down the road? Or will it only escalate further? I shudder to think. I am not the kind to plan long term..Perhaps I should learn to plan now! But since I cant get an apartment yet, I guess I dont have to think too much about it.

I hope the prices will 'stabilise' soon. I think there is enough supply actually. Just that Greed and now Fear is driving the market crazy. That probably happens when 4 million and in future , maybe 6.5 million people are cramped on a tiny island.. Even 'brain waves' get affected and everyone just feel the 'impulse' to 'jump' when they see others 'jumping' ...:p (hence the faddish crazes that range from bubble teas, cinnamon buns, rotiboys and now donut factories.. singaporeans cant help but 'jump on the bandwagon' )

Poppy Power

Spidey came over to take some pictures of Poppy last saturday. Here are 2 of the pictures. He took like 19 in total!

Honours and the Lack of it

I asked my friend if he has honors degree and he told me he has. I asked if its a prerequisite for government sector jobs. He told me, because it is not honourable to work in there, hence its a prerequisite to have honors degree'. Haha.. I know it sounds pretty lame, but the lameness of the statement is really quite funny.

Another friend of mine is currently looking for jobs, and he sounded dismayed when the human resource person from a particular government sector asked if he has honours, why he could do master degree,etc, etc. He susbesquently told me , a manager friend of his told him, he shouldnt even include his master degree in his resume, and that he should have studied his basic degree well, etc, etc. .cos thats all the government will look at. That a master degree is only for those who are hardworking.. dont mean the person is smart..

If everyone thinks like this manager, graduate schools , Chicago business school, insead, to name a few , can all close shop. No one will be thinking of 'improving' 'knowledge' by going for extra courses, etc..since 'one would just look at the basic degree'.

Maybe the government works differently? Maybe this applies to only the government?Perhaps. All I know is if the dear ministers and the like wants the workforce to keep relevant and 'upgrade'.. then the mindset to only look at the 'basic degree' has to change... assessment will need to be made on a more rounded level.

That aside.. its indeed very stressful to go through interviews.. Its never fun to be 'grilled' by another party. If its any comfort, at least its not the "Apprentice' or 'American Idol'.. or any of those reality shows, when you are constantly subjected to scrutiny by other contestants, judges, tv audience, etc. So Interviews are really quite easy afterall huh?! :p

Wow, what a starting pay

If statistics dont lie , fresh graduates are are now said to enjoy starting pay of $2500, in some cases, this can be as much as $3000 or $3500. (The pay in the papers are usually taken from the 'brightest' , 'creme de la crop' high fliers).

No doubt this will leave a bitter after taste for some of us, who has started from much humbler 'beginnings',during the economic crisis that sees pay freezes, retrenchments and the like.

But taken from another perspective, its indeed been a good decade since we graduated. With rising costs and inflation, perhaps the increase in the starting pay is only understandable.

Wait! What about the rest of us still slogging with low pay that probably took us longer time to rise to the current levels these freshies are drawing? Oh well...as the saying goes, life is never fair.

All's not lost though. Just as starting pays are higher for freshies, it would probably be reasonable to see higher pay rise, etc for employees. If anything be, we better enjoy the current good times, before the next downcycle hit us again. Afterall, we mustnt ever forget, what goes up, will come down. All's a matter of time.

Nice Ending

I like how the last book in the harry potter series end. RK rowling has indeed tied everything up nicely. Great story

Blue Monday

Thank goodness today passed in a breeze. Was pretty blue day for me. NOt that things were not good. Its just a general state of mind. Feeling utterly regretful that I had 'wasted' my sunday sleeping away and doing nothing much, and having to face my monday and a truckload of work.. with impending deadlines that crept nearer and nearer with each passing day.

My weekend was good though.. Went to my friend's 'Hello Switzerland.. Goodbye Singapore' farewell bash on saturday. Was nice to chill out.

我爱我的国家!

Got this you tube video from Wolf. Thought its interesting so posting it here. On a different note, I heard a new song to be sung over national day this year. I thought its v nice. I wont be around to watch National Day Parade this year though. Would be in Malaysia for a diving trip. yeh. :D

Husband for Hire

Since Spidey mention about outsourcing, this reminds me of something I read about a 'husband for hire' business in the states some time back.

The novel concept created some uproar as it was unheard of.. In a sense, its a glamourised way of calling repair men, plumbers , 'husbands for hire' (I dont know what other 'plumbing' work they do though! :p) I heard the business is good. as there are indeed alot of single women, who would need such services of the 'handy' man around the house.. hence the term 'husband for hire'.

I am not sure if such a conce'pt can take off in 'prudish' , 'squeamish' Singapore. Perhaps if the terminology is changed, then it would be just like any other repair/handy' business. 'Husband for Hire' probably would come on too strong for our censorship board due to its innate "illicit" connotations..

What do I think of this? Well, it doesnt ring a bell for me, since I dont stay alone. If anything is spoilt, I'd turn to my dad.. That said, its indeed good to have a guy around the house! (Provided he can repair stuff! :p)

Central Mall

Went to central mall with my colleague and her friend to shop, but alas, was disappointed. You'd easily see the clothes sold at Far East Plaza just as well and you'd probably know that alot of those clothes are china made. Not that I have anything against china made.. but at the kind of hefty prices that the shops are pricing. I think no thank you! For that amount, I may as well pay for something of better quality.

Went to Tom Ton for black pig tonkatsu.. YUMMY. The pork is really tender and nice.. Lovely. On the way to the restaurant, saw a horrendous snaking queue outside the ramen place (forgot name, but supposedly v good). What is it with Singaporeans and QUeues? We seem to enjoy queuing.. You see a long snaking queue outside donut factory every night for the past 6 months and now this. Have we got too much time to spare?

Had an early night tonight. I must exercise and work away my fats. Next week I have yet another gathering , celebrating friend's birthday.. So More eating.. and that means I better work out harder!

Can such an arrangement work ?

Someone I know commented some time back that perhaps marriages shouldnt be forever but rather be made on a term basis, renewable once the term is up. For eg. Marriage based on 5 years plan, then both parties will live together as husband and wife for these 5 years. When time is up, then renew on how both parties feel at that point in time. The premise for such an 'arrangement' is that humans arent suitable for marriage now, particularly to face the same person day in day out for the rest of the person's life. Also, it will make 'both parties' work 'harder' and not take each other for granted, so as a result, the marraige will last longer. What do you think?

I think this arrangement wont work. This is like a halfway measure to a full commitment which is what marriage requires. How would the foundation for such a union be if its built with the premise that there could be no brightness of future? Many a marriage had failed because one or both the parties felt they were taken for granted and not given due respect. In such a case, I think even in such temporary arrangements, the union wont last since due consideration is already lacking in the first place.

I think all boils down to individual's mindset. The person who commented on that probably never had a wish to commit full time, hence such solution would work well. But for the rest of the population, marriage the good old style probably works better.

No matter what 'style' , ultimately its not the 'format' of it that determines whether relationships last. If the basic ingredients like respect, love, care, concern, consideration, communication (the list seems to go on forever huh?!) are not present, probably the union is a short lived one.

One conclusion : Humans are complex and tricky. Hence, tis not easy road ahead!

Ever saw someone you rather not see?

Met someone I rather not meet at an art opening today. Glad the person didnt see me. There were some occasions in the past when I experience this. A couple of times, I had no choice but to say hi, as the person (different people) had acknowledged me and I had to make small talk. You ever encounter that?

I rather avoid such situation rather than confront. Thats a problem , I know. Havent get over this habit..

Shock

Neko told me that a schoolfriend of ours had passed on. She was suffering from bladder cancer. Thats the first time I hear of this illness...

I am shocked at the fraility and uncertainty of life..

She was the same age as me.

Am reminded once again, never to take our blessings for granted..

Those Were The Days

A friend of mine was telling me about how she'd tear over this song.She just heard of it sometime in April. Oh yah, this song is no stranger to me. I am a sucker for songs in the 70s and 80s.. Hence, I am definitely familiar. I used to sing to it and each time I sing it, it reminds me of days gone by.. and I'd get all depressed and teary listening to it!

How about you? What songs get you teary?

The lyrics are as follows :

Those Were the Days

Once upon a time there was a tavern
Where we used to raise a glass or two
Remember how we laughed away the hours
And dreamed of all the great things we would do

Those were the days my friend
We thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance forever and a day
We'd live the life we choose
We'd fight and never lose
For we were young and sure to have our way.
La la la la...
Those were the days, oh yes those were the days

Then the busy years went rushing by us
We lost our starry notions on the way
If by chance I'd see you in the tavern
We'd smile at one another and we'd say

Those were the days my friend
We thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance forever and a day
We'd live the life we choose
We'd fight and never lose
For we were young and sure to have our way.
La la la la...
Those were the days, oh yes those were the days

Just tonight I stood before the tavern
Nothing seemed the way it used to be
In the glass I saw a strange reflection
Was that lonely woman really me

Those were the days my friend
We thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance forever and a day
We'd live the life we choose
We'd fight and never lose
For we were young and sure to have our way.
La la la la...
Those were the days, oh yes those were the days

Through the door there came familiar laughter
I saw your face and heard you call my name
Oh my friend we're older but no wiser
For in our hearts the dreams are still the same

Those were the days my friend
We thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance forever and a day
We'd live the life we choose
We'd fight and never lose
For we were young and sure to have our way.
La la la la...
Those were the days, oh yes, those were the days

Computers

Last friday was almost like a holiday for me, because I cant send any emails out using company server.. Because the mail server was been migrated to another server in the morning 11am. So though I could receive emails, I couldnt do anything. Server suppose to work tmorrow. I spent the day reading articles. Was superbly boring.

I think ours must be the only company that would actually migrate mails in the morning. Oh well, certainly not complaining.

Le Bistrot

Met some of my friends for dinner at Le Bistrot at Stadium Walk. Nice cosy little french restaurant. The food is really good , and we had fun and cracked jokes. My friend brought his colleagues along, and we had a ball of a time. If you like good hearty french food , then I recommend this place. The portions are good. Entree + Main goes for $38 bucks, while Entree+ Main + Dessert at $48. I like the fixed pricing, and find it reasonable.

Go try it sometime! :D

Ken Japanese Noodle House - Orchard Plaza

Had a delicious bowl of Chashu ramen at this tiny Japanese eatery , right across cuppage plaza , beside Ah meng restaurant (which also serve good local foood) . The soup base of the ramen is very flavourful.. and marvellous. I'd go back again if I can..Highly recommended..

Watched transformers after that.. I find it ok.. entertaining, but I wont be watching it again.. Story line is so so. I wonder whats the deal with 'aliens'. Many hollywood films would invariably talk about aliens, etc. Sometimes I wonder if its the workings of scientology.. or who knows, there maybe 'aliens'..:p

As usual, the machines fighting against each other remind me of the 'tumble and rumble' games Americans so love. think WWF, American Football, Monster Wheels.. Of course the graphics are great, alot more fine than the tumble and rumble of these 'loud antics, but still, tis not far off.

The last 30 minutes was rather slow.. lengthy fight and all, I lost focus. I mean its entertaining (some parts were v funny) and earlier part was nice, but still.. how much more can you fight?

So given a chance, I wont watch it again..

070707

There would be 777 couples getting wedded today on 070707. I suppose in 2008, there would be 888 couples getting wedded on 080808, and 999 couples on 090909, and so forth... Or perhaps there would be special lottery on 080808..

Such is our obsession with numbers. Even our identities also get a number, so as to 'record' our existence. Lose that number, you lose your identity and you would very well be 'non-existent'.. Or we could even learn to 'predict' our 'luckiness' with our birthdates with numerology, calculating how our birthdates add up and what lucky number would that be ?

Or on a practical note, we would be forecasting where the stock market goes next, hows the inflation rate? Whats the GST rate now? Interest rates?What would be the next highest selling price for a flat in say, queenstown? would there be any record breakers in the olympic games, whats the score? How much are your grades? How much do you earn ? How old are you ? Whats your weight? whats your vital statistics? Whats your baby's weight? How much you bought the car for ? What telephone number to call to get the cab, ask for information , for helpline? What bus to take? When is the deadline? What is the time?

All these questions pretty much sum up what goes on in our lives everyday... Such is our 'obsession'. .. I simply cant imagine a life without 'numbers'.. Though I am horrid at it.. I fear it, I have to face it.. Some even venture to say numbers, maths, is a 'universal' language.. though I prefer to think that music is.. since I have an aversion to math and numbers.. (mayb that explains why I am bad financially!)

Oh well, the mundane life.. Cant live without it, cant live with it..

May as well make 'numbers' fun.. so anyone going to play blackjack? Or buy lottery this weekend? Maye we can try for 070707 huh? who knows, we may just make a killing..

Manado Pictures

I dont think I'd be able to upload everything here.. just a sampler of what we saw in Manado. Upload some of the pictures at flickr. check this out http://www.flickr.com/photos/7795579@N04

Darwin's Nightmare ....

Watched a harrowing documentary yesterday. I must say its a sobbering 2 hrs plus documentary. On first take, it looks amateurish, but the tale takes a sordid dark turn and the plot thickens. Check the link www.hubertsauper.com for some of the other films the director had produced.

Stripped of snazzy images, special effects and glossy scripts, you see a stark reality that is happening everyday. I come away from it having a new sense of awareness and helplessness.

There seem no immediate solution for the situation..

As the title aptly puts it.. it is indeed Darwin's Nightmare

New pic of Ethan

Neko said she was 'scared' off by the 'skinnier' pic of Ethan I had posted earlier. I asked her to give me a new one. So here goes.. Isnt he cute? I like his small eyes.

Hmm, come to think of it. I think guys with small eyes are more charming and cute. :D

Que Sera Sera , Whatever will be will be

The song sums up my thoughts in many matters pretty well...

****************************************
When I was just a little girl

I asked my mother, "What will I be?

Will I be pretty, will I be rich

Here's what she said to me.

Que Sera, Sera,

Whatever will be, will be

The future's not ours, to see

Que Sera, Sera

What will be, will be.

When I was just a child in school,

I asked my teacher, "What should I try?

Should I paint pictures?

Should I sing songs?"

This was her wise reply:

Que Sera, Sera,

Whatever will be, will be

The future's not ours, to see

Que Sera, Sera

What will be, will be.

When I grew up and fell in love,

I asked my lover, "What lies ahead?

Will we have rainbows

Day after day?"

Here's what my lover said:

Que Sera, Sera,

Whatever will be, will be

The future's not ours, to see

Que Sera, Sera

What will be, will be.


words and music by: Jay Livingston and Ray Evans

My godson - Ethan

He's my good friend, Neko's son. The photo was taken many months back. Think now he would be much bigger. He is v v cute, v fair too, just like his mum (whose nick name is incidentally 'bei bei', meaning white white. While mine is 'or or' , 'black black'.:P)

My personality is somewhat 'rare'?

Tried the personality test on my sweet lullaby website too ..results as follows.Guess I am more 'common' than Oddy.. haha, she isnt oddy for no reason afterall. :D

Your Personality is Somewhat Rare (ENFP)

Your personality type is enthusiastic, giving, cautious, and loyal. Only about 8% of all people have your personality, including 9% of all women and 6% of all men You are Extroverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Perceiving.

How Rare Is Your Personality?

And there is Ageism...

Tsk Tsk.. so women above 35 are not welcomed on ladies night at Powerhouse.. 'Ageism' is indeed truely kicking alive..

Indeed Ladies nights are ploys by club owners to 'attract' the 'nubile', 'pretty', 'young' , 'hot' ladies so that the men will follow them like bees to honey and Pay to enter the clubs, thereby increasing revenue for these clubs.. But hey, with an aging population in Singapore and with a sizeable population belonging to women above 35, surely clubs know better than to ruffle these feathers? Afterall, who hasnt heard of 'hell hath no fury like woman scorned'? Most of these women I know earn good incomes and are attractive, nubile, rich (case in point, Celina Lim, who is one such hot chick). Surely dennis , you wouldnt be denying entry to your rich tai tai friends who want to enjoy ladies' night?

Lets turn the tables around on this age old issue (pun intended) and look at ways to pander to this group of women..

Imagine a club that features 'Women Power' nights when on such nights, only women who are established and of a certain breed, need enter..(No ah lians or students) Instead of free drinks, these women would get the coveted attention of cute, handsome, young waiters who are straight, who would pander to their needs for listening ears and just listen to these women talk. (something like going to a 'shrink'). The club isnt closed to men of course. Men who enter on such nights must be young, not above 40, and cool looking. :p ..

u think this will work?

With more power women these days.. I dont see why not.. :p

I'd be first to queue up.. haha

Last Year's Salaries Highest in 6 years ?

Just as I was talking about how salaries didnt increase very much, the saturday chinese papers carry the above headlines "Last year's salaries is the highest in 6 years". The areas with the highest increase are in workers with specialised skills. Average salaries for professionals have risen to $2000 compared to $1850 10 years back, While lower skill works' salaries eg. cleaning workers have dropped from $860 to $600.

Component of the increase is due to rise in basic salaries of 3.6% and counting in 2.18 months of bonuses.. However the papers just mention that the inflation rate is 1% last year, so the real increase in wage is 3.5%.The increase is all well and good. But let us not forget that there was also pay freeze, pay cuts since the financial crisis, retrenchment, and restructuring. Hence,in my cynical opinion, this increase is hardly anything to celebrate by.

Furthermore, costs did increase over the years. Lets just take the simple GST hike for example. From 3% to 5% and now 7%. Just counting the increase from 3%-7% over the past 6 years, the increase in GST ALONE is 4%.

What's my point? Well, statistics aside (I am horribly bad at it anyway), its good salaries did increase, however costs still increase alot more. And if skillset doesnt increase , then the sad reality is salaries would just go down, like the case of cleaning workers.

Hence, headlines are just sensational, but truth is between the lines.

The Rush Before GST Hike

Yes.. GST will increase to 7% from July onwards. You see crowds mulling the malls, in a mad rush to shop during the sale , to beat the hike. I tried to shop.. but alas, the crowds are too much for me.. Couldnt find anything and decide to make do with what I have. Afterall, I do have many clothes.. just that I got bored of the fashion. Perhaps I should buy quality and not quantity from now on..

Costs would definitely increase with the hike.. Alas salaries didnt increase very much.. Over the years, I think the real value of money has decreased considerably. Though some superscale civil servants would definitely earn sky high salaries.. they are not me.. too Bad for me..

After the initial shock of 'higher' costs, we would all go back to working hard, quietly slogging away. The pain would be there in the beginning, and after which we'd get used to the 'pain' and then life goes on... Change is painful, but I think we are a nation that get used to change very fast...

Afterall, what can one do? Nothing will change. Been the practical nation that we are, we probably would just complain, voice our grouses, let off steam , then bite the bullet , to get 'get more money'. We know riots wont help, will make us worse off.. we know wilful rebellion doesnt make things better..We rather get down to "REAL" business..

Sound mellow? meek, unthinking, cynical? Well, perhaps. But I think its because we are very practical.

Singaporeans are a practical lot. We are driven by it, oiled by it.. Honestly, I think tis the same everywhere. Money walks the talk.

Yep, Just show me the money

Irritants

At times, I really have no patience for people I deemed as irritants. They range from boot lickers to braggers to people who simply irks me. Some categories I have listed... not exhaustive.. (Not like I am saint... but lately.. met many such people)

A) Boot Lickers- they like to show how they put in so much effort for the company , how everyone else isnt as committed or devoted. Simple solutions are exaggerated 10 x or more , to show how ingenious they are.. Other people's mistakes are magnified 100 x. Theirs are usually hushed up. THey always have the LAST WORD

B) Braggers - they tell me their pay have increased, where they'v been for holidays, how their partners love them, dote on them, how their friends say they take planes like taking buses.., how their house is so big they get lost in it.. you get the idea?

C) Workaholics - they dont ever stop working. Even when you meet them, you can see their minds are elsewhere.. still on work. Every conversation is likely to lead back to work..

D) Stick-in-the-mud - they dont like change, not flexible, want their way or the high way. Hanging out with them is no fun. Yet they are so in their own world, they think you are having fun. Worse, they think only their way is right, your way not right. Any change to their plans, you are bound to get a ticking off..

E) Flirts - Mind you, I am not against flirting.. but some people take it to new heights. They'd flirt with anything that moves.. even in inappropriate situations. They think they are god's gift to mankind, to put it VERy CYnically.

I think I shant list any more categories.. put anymore, I may as well say I cant stand humans, including myself. I mean, all of us , including me, are guilty of been any of the above category albeit in small doses. What I am saying is really, there are some irritants I met who are extremes...

Friends, not referring to u of course.... I just need to let off steam...

CHEMISTRY - WHAT defines it?

Since sweet lullaby and odd were talking about chemistry, I'd like to give my take on it too..

Does Chemistry equate to heart beating very fasT? Eyes rolling or blushing when the person of desire is nearby? Sweaty palms, dry throat? Shuddering or stuttering speech when talking to him/her? If any of these strike you, perhaps, there is 'chemistry' in the relation?

Does chemistry signify deep connection with a person? that perhaps this is THE ONE? I am not sure. I dont think anyone has the answers. All I can say is that chemistry does wear off..

I too experienced such potent chemistry before. I too went with my heart on some of these occasions.Looking at the magnitude I felt from the chemistry, you'd think it'd last forever.. At last it didnt. When i saw the person I had so much 'chemistry;' with some years later, I found myself wondering why did I even fall in love in the first place? Whatever chemistry I felt I had had gone. This happened a couple more times.. which leads me to the conclusion... chemistry is the intial attraction, growing love in the relationship is the key.. chemistry can die off, yet love can grow stronger ... (or can grow weaker with neglect too)

I dont know about whether chemistry is art or science. I just know this.. its transient and it wears off.. so gotta keep 'feeding' it? what can 'feed the chemistry'? I like to think its love.. but I think even love can also grow weak? So what feeds the 'chemistry' in couples? I can only think of one word.. (this is just my own opinion.. maybe I am too one dimensional with this 'answer').. that is

COMMITMENT

Imagine.. you have chemistry with a person.. heart beats, blush blush.. but no commitment, no agreeing to stay together..no consideration for each other to want to commit and make something together.. its purely a rush of emotions.. do you think this will last? Human Beings been famous for a whole gamut of emotions.. can such fleeting feelings be an accurate barometer of soul connection? Is it just raging hormones or pure lust? Can it mean something deeper?
Or it will just be yet another forgotten memory ?

What? So many Millionnaires? But I aint it

Read in the papers about how the number of millionnaires in Singapore has increased, with record high in 2007 (must be the workings of proceeds from en bloc sales). With the economy doing so well, and sentiment running high, I guess everyone's spirits must be quite good generally (where work is concerned).

Alas , I am not one of those millionnaires. I am in fact very very very far from IT. Sad to say , I still have nothing to my name. Neither a house, nor a big fat bank account. No branded 'chi chi' bags to dress me up, nor sparkling diamonds anywhere. I am in short PLAIN AVERAGE.

Am I lamenting? Of course, If I could be rich, that would be great. WHo doesnt want a jetset life, with holidays in exotic places, and shopping without looking at the budget? I once shopped with a tai tai and I must say , shopping with her is great experience, because she could just walk in a shop and buy whatever she fancy without batting an eyelid at the price..

But I am just one of the girls, so I still gotta watch my wallet (in addition to my waistline) and can only wonder about the joys of such limitness shopping. Am I missing out much ? Maybe? But I also learn I can make do with very little as well.

If you have lived with very little, you'd fully realise that you really dont need much to have a relative amount of comfort in Singapore.True , the minute we get out of our home, we'd spend , but there are many places that can be enjoyed without much $ too..

How do I know? Well, in my early 20s, I was unemployed for a period of time. Not having much to spend, I'd to get creative with how I can stretch my dollar or lack of it in order to satisfy my curious wanderings.. I discover these 'FREE" Actitivies that I have derived much joy from :

1) I can spend the whole day in National Library, borrowing the dvds, or music cds, or browsing books and be entertained
2) I can go to botanic gardens and enjoy free concerts
3) I can go for art openings and enjoy free flow of wine, and food. You'd be surprised.. some of the wine and food are from very good caterers (think michaelangelo pizzas, etc)
4) I can go to THAT CD SHOP and immerse myself in the atmosphere, listening to JAzz on their fantastic speakers.
5) Go for a run by the beach or laze by the beach

Of course, transport is needed on any of the above activities. In Singapore, even on this small red little dot, it does take at least an hr by public transport to go from one end of the island to the other..

That said, I still dream of becoming a millionnaire.. though I know I dont have much luck with the lottery.. Maybe there'd be some miracle round the corner.. :D

Formula for Love?

Watch any korean love drama lately? I am sure 'Full House' , 'Princess Hours', 'Stairway to Heaven' are not unfamiliar to you. I like watching these love dramas, though my taste is somewhat limited to love stories with happy endings and mainly comedies. I dont like watching soapy dramas with a tearing scene every 10 minutes.

Watching these dramas would invariably make any real life relationship lifeless and boring. Love in dramas are invariably more interesting and full of hurdles that would make any experienced athlete green..I cant help but think note the following formula for love:

1) the two must be at logger heads when they first know each other.. The more they fight , the better their love will be in the end.. Usually they are not even friends, then they become friends later on..

2) There has to be a 3rd party or even 4th party competing for the love and affection of the protagonist.. anything lesser wouldnt make the love endearing or precious.. 3rd Parties are usually more glamourous looking (if the protagonist is a lady), and usually more spiteful, treacherous, with dirty tricks to 'steal' the protagonist' credit, or love. If there is a 4th party involved, its usually a guy, handsome one, fighting for the attention of the lady protagonist.

3) If the male lead/leads are good looking , the actress is very plain, girl-next-door look, while the 3rd party more glamourous (see point 2) If the male lead/leads are not good looking, actress will be drop dead gorgeous.. Usually in such a case, the drop dead gorgeous actress would also have another bf who is successful, handsome, and prince charming, but she usually choose the plain looking male lead over prince charming.. Even if the plain looking chap did not treat her as well as prince charming.. Basically opposites work very well in dramas

4) The male leads usually have respectable jobs. Even if their background seem humble, they usually make up for it by been very well educated eg. having phd, or doctorate, but doing some humble job for a more noble purpose.

5) Usually there are some evil people on the side, making life more difficult for the lead actresses/actors.. and making them realise their love for each other far surpass all these evil pranks...

6) Make sure there are lots of romantic slow thoughtful moments, and make sure that the lead actor and actress slowly discover each other's good points and fall in love and slowly act in considerate ways that show their love for each other..


7) Soothing Love songs are a must.. Make sure there are a few different love songs, with some fast upbeat ones for happy moments, slow sorrowful ones for tearjerking moments and that there are lots of MTV worthy scenes in the show..

8) Make sure there are some misunderstandings thrown in for good measure between the main leads. Usually they wont fall in love together, so the misunderstandings would help them mask their real affection and make sure, they only discover their love for each other in the last 4 episodes.. Because , hey, once they get married or they get together.. the story just doesnt sizzle anymore.. There is no fun in 'certainty'..

9) If the show is going to be sad, usually the protagonists who fall in love would inevitably fall in love, but found out they were brother/sister or were childhood sweethearts who simply couldnt forget each other even if they havent talked for more than 20 years and though they met each other for a while when they were children.

10) The men are very thoughtful, charming, careful about how women think, while the women wont be afraid to be the first to say they love the guy and even when the guy didnt show much interest or treat them badly, they would continue to treat the guy really really well, till the guy fall in love.. (or Vice Versa)

There you go, Add the above elements together in different portions, you get a potentially potent sizzling love story.. The twists and turns in the love dramas would make your own love a BEDTIME story by comparison.. No wonder we like watching them..

But It isnt REAL! you say.. Come on,seriously speaking, do you want to watch a love story when both not so good looking/ ok looking people fall in love in school/at work who do nothing much but watch movies, have dinner, day in day out, till the time when they apply for flat/buy condo/house, then married, have kids? Or just a love story about a couple living together making milk for babies, doing household chores together?

No? See? I rather have my korean love dramas anytime. .... Best of all, make it a show with all the good looking people.. pretty babes, handsome , rich hunks.. give me the whole works (But comedy kind please)!Because Life is REAL enough, I dont need my shows to be real too.. :D

Been Solo

My china colleague was one of the 'jie mei' at our colleague's wedding last saturday.She mentioned about a fellow 'jie mei' who started talking about how nice her husband is the minute she knew my colleague was single. She started showing colleague her husband's sms ,how prompt he was in replying, how my colleague shouldnt be so choosy and quickly find a husband soon, etc and even proceeded to tell the bridegroom's brothers that my colleague is single. (she is one of those 'smug couple' breeds). My colleague just smiled.. and related the incident to us.(My china colleague has often been talking about her lack of partner during lunch and how she isnt young since she is already 27 , etc. She is very direct and her annecdotes were quite entertaining).

We were naturally pretty 'horried' by the 'smugness' of this 'sister' who had saw my colleague for the first time, and proceeded to boast about her marital status. The 'sister' is rather on the plump side and look like Ms Piggy. (I am channelling my mean side this morning). That night at the wedding dinner, we were all rather mean lah, telling our colleague how she should have said she had plenty of choices lah, so dont know how to choose..not like her , have to jump at the first opportunity . etc (We didnt say that to her lah..)

Just makes me wonder , why the smugness? What is the Big Deal about been part of a couple anyway? Does she think that been solo means 'unwanted' , 'undesirable', etc? Does that make her desirable because she is part of an entity called 'couplehood'?

I have been solo for the longest time since my last relationship about 3 years ago. I think my life thereafter improved by leaps and bounds (my relationship wasnt great and I was a fool). True, the nagging inconveniences of been solo is finding company to do the things you enjoy, to travel together, to hang out. More importantly, not having someone who can grow old with you..

While I get plenty of freedom in deciding what I want to do, since I dont have to 'report' to anyone, things can get very lonely as well. Loneliness can hit you anywhere but more so for soloists like me.. Especially in dark quiet nights.

Yet I dont see why been solo is such an issue (even if I am not young anymore). In Singapore, everyday, you are reminded of how you are not helping to procreate, how you need to find someone for sure,etc. There is 'Romancing Singapore' to remind you to quickly get rid of your solo state. 'I love children' campaigns to remind you to procreate and have children. Favourable housing schemes for couples and tax incentives are just some of the policies that glare at you. Been solo indeed seems to be a 'marginalised' existence in Singapore though things have improved over the years. (Now singles over 35 can buy any kind of flat on the resale market)

I am not saying I choose to be solo. I didnt choose it. Its just that I didnt meet anyone with whom I can connect with. There are times when I thought I met someone I could connect with, but circumstances often turn out to be otherwise, or things just didnt work out. Of course I'd like to be married, to find my 'soulmate' some day, but only if he is someone I can connect with, respect, have the same values with me. I wont choose someone who isnt it, just so that I can be part of a couplehood.

I sometimes will wonder why am I still solo? But these days, I am learning to smell the roses, enjoy and appreciate my blessings. For you never know what life brings you.I am learning to see life in a different light.

So, Dont be so smug, happy couples. I am happy you found your partners, but dont be so smug. Been solo isnt that bad. I am loving my freedom, my time , my blessings and taking it a day at a time. And for those who are solo, enjoy and dont just blindly settle !

When do you call it Quits?

Dont worry, I am fine. Just a sudden whiff of inspiration and caught the word bug.. so since inspiration strikes, why not keep the words coming? (Though this is quite a long post.. sorry ah!)

Are there times when you just want to quit a situation? when you want to quit on a person? when you want to quit from 'life' ? (opps, this is too morbid.. just wild imaginings..) ** Its not easy to want to call it quits. At the risk of been labelled a failure, 'flighty', 'unreliable', not steady, it takes long consideration and trepidation before one can safely say 'i quit'. (Nope, not thinking of quitting my job, just thinking about things in general)

Since calling it quits can be applied to so many situations and would probably be too complicating to talk about it in one broad stroke.. I like to just explore it from the relationship stance point (aka marriage in this case).

Case 1 : You are in a relationship with the girl you love. She told you she had a short term affair which ended just a couple months before your coming marriage. Her colleague subsequently got married too, and even after marriage, he still pester your girl. Your girl having a soft spot for him still, though wanting to end the relationship, ignored him to her best abilities. But they still meet sometimes for lunch.. and he would harrass her into quitting the marriage to you. She did not , deciding you are the one for her. You think all is well and you get married. Just a couple of months after your marriage, your girl tell you she is still in love with the colleague , who has now quit her workplace , no longer harrassing her.. but wait, your girl is in love with him still?! You had all this while pandered to your girls' wishes. Changing your job for a better paying one, to suit her wishes for a better life.. but now wait.. she is still in love with her ex colleague.. What should you do? A) continue B) Quit

Case 2: You know your sweetheart of 7 years and you got married. Upon marriage, you discover his penchant for anger and he gets really aggressive on himself when he is upset things dont go his way. You never see this side of him before. You cant handle.. and his character flaws stick out like a sore thumb.. You love him, but you dont like this aspect of him.. What should you do then? Stay , helping him to change? or Quit?

Case 3 : You discover your husband's secret and its tearing the family apart.. Though your heart is broken, you still love him and you are really not getting young anymore. Staying together will remind you constantly of the pain , staying apart, will mean a life of loneliness since it would be foolhardy to expect to find another partner to continue on. You cant bear the thought of staying alone even if you have children. What do you do ? Stay or go?

When do you call it quits? Its not an easy decision to make.. its a case of Damn if you do, Damn if you dont..

Take Case 1 for example. These two people really shouldnt get married in the first place. I'd think that as a rational observer.. But if you are in the guy's position, how would you react? Is love in such a case so selfish that it hurts ? Or its an addictive game that wont end?

How about Case 2 ? When you are in love and you marry your partner, and only discover the flaw much later on, a flaw you cannot stand.. do you stay together because of your vow? or do you quit, because you dont wish to be miserable?

Case 3? If you stay, can you face the betrayer? Can you still sleep on the same bed together? Can Time heal? If you quit, where can you go ? Can you really live a life of solitude now that you have become so accustomed to living as part of a couple ?

These cases occur every day to the point of appearing cliche. Different people of course make decisions in different ways. I hope I never have to face such situation, though i am probably dreaming. Life isnt a bed of roses indeed! With each decision we make, we gotta bite the bullet and pay the price.

So.. when do you call it quits? I say 'love yourself first' .. dont sacrifice your soul for the relationship because at the end of it all, you'd hate yourself for it.. Once resentment eats the relationship, its a goner anyway... Dont you know, love can turn to hate in a jiffy? so if the relationship takes too much of you, then consider 'calling it quits' .. too flighty? too impatient? I dont know.. everyone's baseline is different.. so check your baseline and tolerance.. But whatever it is.. dont be a sucker.

Sure, love is irrational and everyone is a fool for a time. Just hope the effects will wear off and you can wake up with clear thinking. Solitude is not that scary. Hanging on for dear life despite the pain is.. so remember to ask yourself.. what is my baseline and when do I call it quits / If I should call it quits ..**

(By the way, at times I think love is overrated.. at the end of the day, though there is love and chemistry.... marriage really is more than love)

**disclaimer: such discussion is entirely of the intellectual kind and not to be taken as any 'advice' or 'encouragement' that its ok to quit'... (must protect my 'arse' mah...)

Rainy Night

I love rainy nights like this.. when all I hear is the slight pitter patter of raindrops .
I love the smell of rain and the comfort it brings for I know I could snuggle in my warm covers later.
I love the lightning skirting across the sky brightening the landscape with its flirty flashes
I love the slight rumble of thunder, lulling me to sleep with its foregone melody

Oh, how I love soft rainy nights like this..

Relationships and Expectations

A friend of mine wrote about conditional love in his friendster blog, and about different people having different expectations and character, and how sometimes these people may never match despite efforts by each other.. He thinks It all boils down to compatibility and expectations. His writing strike a chord with me.. though I think good compatibility doesnt mean a totally blissful relationship as well..

I suppose in the heat of the moment, or when cupid's wings strike in our fast paced society, we often overlook nagging characteristic flaws, especially when we are feeling the rush of love, thinking love conquers all. When the dust settles some months or years down the road, we may just wake up and no longer see the relationship through rose tinted eyes. What we see may then shock us as we find ourselves wondering why we even fall in love in the first place? Very often, the strengths we see in our partner become faults we'd scream at as time goes by. (Yet one must never forget, there are always 2 sides to a coin, hence,its all a matter of perspective).

If one isnt married, its pretty 'easy'. Some will just break up, citing reasons of incompatibility, no more chemistry, goals are different and move on. Or in some cases, some people take a bigger commitment by getting married, thinking moving onto the next phase will rejuvenate the relationship without really taking stock of the situation, ignoring the problems, and accepting it all in, without any improvement to the situation, till when their unhappiness erupt and tolerance run out .

More complication sets in if one is married.. Imagine a situation when there is no more intoxication by love,coupled with the stress of modern living aka meeting deadlines, managing demanding inlaws, balancing finances, feeding babies for some, keeping family, having sex (yes, having sex actually becomes a checklist after marriage for some couples!) , its indeed a rough ride for many. Even the most 'blessed' union also suffers its downs as my friends can attest, when some complain about partners' inadequacies. (eg. not doing household chores, taking care of baby, been too busy at work, etc to name a few)

What can one say about this? The world isnt perfect, no one is perfect, so why do we hanker after 'perfect' relationships?
Are we expecting too much from our relationships, wanting our partner to fulfill our every need? Are we treating ourselves less kind if we expect lesser from our partners? What can we do about these relationships that are irksome at times?

I like to compare managing a relationship to taking care of a plant. We need to tend it with lots of tender loving care. Water it with attention and communication, sun it with love and consideration, fertilise it with fun and laughter and when necessary, remove the pests /bugs attacking it... Through this all, tis important to remember what plant u have.. dont keep hoping for lavender when you planted sunflowers. Last but not least, appreciate the beauty of the 'plant' for it has its seasons.. be it withering or blooming, learn to see the beauty in its own form..

Wedding Dinners

Attended colleague's wedding dinner on saturday. She was v happy, we could see she was tired though.. She had a really stressful time preparing for the wedding, think she is glad the ceremony is all over. Wedding Dinners are usually very boring and we just spend the night chatting with ex colleagues, commenting on the set up, food, etc.


If I do get married next time, hopefully I wont have to go through the wedding dinner procedure. Its too much of a hassle. Will just have a simple ceremony. I hate hassles...

Suriname and Liechtenstein

Have you ever heard of these countries? I never, and yesterday my colleague showed me. You can find out more at these links.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suriname

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liechtenstein


One is like a 'money laundering' nation (sounds like 'lick - a - stain')and the other, suriname is a small country in south america.

The world is so BIG. We shouldnt just set our sights in Singapore indeed...

I always have this wish to live abroad for a few years and coming back to Singapore. Singapore is still my home, despite the shortcomings.But I'd like to have the experience of living on my own, abroad.

But alas, I never find that opportunity to stay abroad. (I did look, but nothing like that come up. Now, just make do with my job which involves a certain amount of travelling).

As my parents age and as I age (I am only a few years before becoming an ELDER in singapore context, HAHA), I find that the wish to stay by their side is more and more. Afterall, their time is limited, whether I like it or not, we all go someday.

I am not a fantastic daughter.. but I will try my best..

Poppy

I have a naughty jack russell which some may find obnoxious, and perhaps stinky little dog. But he sure brings smiles to me.. I admit I am not very maternal, and thank god for my parents. If not for them, I wont have the ability to take care of poppy. Called home on tuesday, and my mum told me to talk to poppy.. huh? talk? I did, said' poppy poppy' over the phone, to please my mum.. and she told me he ran away.

My folks concluded that poppy find it strange that his owner is talking to him when he cant find her anywhere at home and ran away.. Funny huh? But I think its quite normal.. My friends who have dogs, talk to them, like they are their kids.. So I think my folks are not the only ones!

The GAME

A friend of mine commented that 'bad guys get the pretty girls'. (He is a goodie chap). I think he said in a way that makes me think, if he has the means, he'd definitely like to date pretty girls. (who doesnt, if I am a guy, I would too :P) That just reminds me of a book I read some months back.

The book is called 'The Game'? Heard of it? Its a book by Neil Strauss. He was a geek who turned charmer. A few years ago, he learnt the art of flirting with the world's 'best known' flirts, attended many such seminars, etc. Subsequently, he wrote a 'tell-all' book about the gimmicks he learnt, tactics men employ to get 'chicks' , get laid (to put it crudely).

When I first saw the book, I thought 'big deal'.. boring, just a list of names these men picked up and laid. But when I read the details, i saw the manipulative stance, the emptiness of it all at the end, and the endless games that are been played out. The amazing thing is no matter where the games or tactics were used be it in Eastern Europe or America, the girls ALWAYS fall for the tactics.. (different girls of course, but tactics are the same). Even Paris Hilton got a mention in this book!

Though one may comment its highly deceptive and not sincere, who is to say in the game of dating the sexes, how real is real in the beginning? Arent many playing games when they first dated? Arent many still playing games, albeit unconsciously in their daily lives? Though thats would be another 'story' altogether.

Whats my point? I think given a chance, most men will love to have the chance or opportunity (women alike, would love to date rich prince charmings..:D) to date pretty gals, be Mr popular, if they know how. (judging from the ploys and strategies in the book, I should think so).

Though that's so, in the book's conclusion, games can get tiring, and ultimately the mask get torn away.. as neil himself much discover at the end of the book. After myraid of games, even the games get worn out, emptiness set in, and there seem to be nothing there left. The author ultimately got hooked up with a girl who wont fall for any of his games and was cold to him (Thats another GAME..), and demanding him to be his real self and he was.. nd he was happier for it. (Though it seemed they recently broke up)


Perhaps, we should have another book that uncovers all these 'games' ? haha,

Games are here to stay I think. Just the level of play thats different.. Though Ultimately, sincerity is most important.

Tiffany's Graduation Pics

Was wanting to put this up for the past couple of weeks, but there was some error earlier. So here goes. My 18 yr old niece graduating and going to college soon.

She has grown so fast, now looking different career options. Its scary for me, because I still feel I cant provide much guidance for her, can only advise her to my best knowledge.

About Personal Ads

Was on the way home after spending some whopping amount on skincare, when I saw this newspaper headline jumping off at me. 22 yr old NTU 'rich' girl advertises for marriage partner on the net. What?! Am I seeing things right? Asked a couple of my friends what they think. Interestingly, 2 of my male friends just attribute it to publicity stunt, while 2 of my female friends said, if 22 yr olds do this, then what about us ?!

There you go, the difference between men and women. The men very rationally draw up a conclusion that its all for publicity (whether it really is so, thats another issue). Whereas women (including myself) thought emotionally about the age factor.

Skimmed through the lines from another fellow passenger's copy (my bad habit to read off others' papers on the mrt). The report also wrote ' If she is so attractive and young, need she advertise? she should have plenty of suitors, unless there's something wrong with her. '

But thats as good as saying, if one is so attractive, why would one join 'SDU' or dating agency , etc. Does advertising oneself invariably mean there is some lack in the person in the first place, hence the advertisement? And if one is old, then there is a reason why one should advertise.

Why do we think this way then ?

I dont have any answers. Can only point it to an inherent need for humans to procreate and the reality of the biological clock ticking away.

I am just amused at the difference in opinions.

GSS - disappointing

Think GSS is rather disappointing.went to town on sat late noon before my dinner appt. Just see crowds everywhere, and I immediately felt claustrophobic. Cant imagine when the island should hit 6.5 million. Wonder how would I feel then?

Saw some special promotions on tiger air, and itching to plan some holiday trip in december this year. Alas, hard to find kaki. One of the pitfalls of been a single at my age is finding kaki to travel with. Plus its usually not that easy to coordinate leave and the place to travel to. Perhaps I gotta ask my mum to travel with me! Though she has mentioned that she would want to save the money for next year, for a trip to Brazil instead.

Caught the travel bug, keep feeling the urge to get away. I am probably making up for lost time as I havent gone anywhere for the past 2 years.

My photos from Manado can only be up in July. My friends can only pass me when we next meet for dinner on July 5th. So will share later.

Meantime, I would have to make do with whiling my time in Singapore.

HELP! ITS June already!

HELP! Its June already! Cant believe how fast time has flown by.I havent done anything much for the past half year, save for working. I havent even been to the GSS sale. Anyone bought anything?

MOS on Saturday

Went clubbing in MOS on saturday with my friend's friends. It wasnt much fun, didnt like the music that much. It was too slow for me.. even the retro hits which I love seem v slow. I prefer hip hop music, or something faster.

It didnt help also that I was kept asking the question of how I celebrated my big 3 (one of the gals would be celebrating her big 3 in a couple of months). I cant recall much of any celebration.

I didnt have much fun. Perhaps I am really getting older? or Perhaps the company isnt right or the music isnt right. Anyway, will be a while before I go clubbing again.

(though I am looking forward to colleague's hen's night... we are going to gotham city, and see male dancers 'stripping' , gonna be so fun to tease her.. :P)

Counting Down ... to Manado on 30 May

Counting down to diving in Manado on 30 May. Mum has been nagging me about diving, when she knew I am going to indonesia. Recent news reports stated huge waves in java area, etc.. But... Manado is in the sulawesi side, hmm.. of course I would worry too.. but I already paid for the trip.. Would hope for the best and pray hard!

I havent dive for 2 years.. Miss it. I wont forget my first diving trip back in university days.. That was really fun.

Looking forward to more diving...

My Niece Turns 18

My Niece, Tiffy, turned 18 on saturday, 19 May. It feels wonderful that she is turning sweet 18, and very scary for me, to know that she is almost like a young adult now. That means I am getting really much older! :P

She has a whole lot ahead and I just wish that she will find work that she enjoy. Even at my age, sometimes I find myself wondering what should be my path, what other career should I look into? What am I really good at? Sadly, I dont really know. I am just an average person, with not much of a sharp strength in any area.

Not to say that I am not happy where I am. So far so good. I suppose I cant complain. I have much blessings. A roof over my head, meals cooked with love, and great friends to hang out with. Also, work that I enjoy so far.. at least till I know what I want to do next.

Tiffy, I wish you well, may your wishes come true, and may you find your calling soon. Meantime, have a great celebration, enjoy the wonder of turning sweet 18.. and I look forward to partying with you soon!

Shanghai

Extended my trip last week after my work is done. Stayed with a dear friend in shanghai. Was so fun.visited some art galleries, and went shopping. Qipu lu was very cheap. Bought tops at 45rmb and jeans for 45rmb (thats like 9 S$). Surprised to see a night market outside qipu lu when the shops are closed.. (qipu lu shops close at 7pm on weekends) and saw shoes selling for like 20Rmb. You can imagine I went mad shopping..

Its inherently more satisfying to spend like a king in places like that, compared to going to the States or Europe where I have to watch my dollar..

Next month, gonna be going to shenzhen for work. Will go in 1 day earlier to Hong Kong with my colleague. :D

IR Photos from Botanic Gardens

went with a school friend to botanic gardens sometime back and took these pics. Was very hot , but fun. The Infra red photos are pretty dramatic..

Some of my favourite sites

http://wwww.stephaniesyjuco.com/p_counterfeit_crochet.html


http://www.fashionisspinach.com/

http://www.bitsandbobbins.com/journal/

http://www.neetmagazine.com/

http://www.flickr.com/groups/wardrobe_remix/pool/


I like surfing these sites for their creativity buzz and quirky bits.

Shivers and Tremors

At 1155am , felt the whole parkway building trembling and shaking. I had felt giddy and thought I was suffering from a fainting spell. However, it isnt so. My colleagues too jumped up and felt the whole building swaying like a coconut tree.. (Maybe too exagerating huh?) Anyhow, we vacated the building and ran down the stairs with our wallets and handphones. Since its so close to lunchtime, we went for early lunch.

Subsequently when we are back in the office, there was a 2nd tremour, but this time, we didnt vacate.. think thats the after shock from the earthquake. Apparently, on a scale of 6.5 in sumatra.. Areas like Ang Mo Kio, East side and even Bukit Merah also experience such tremours...

This is the first time I experience this...

I wonder if Singapore would be submerged one day if the tectonic plates move again or if there is yet another Tsunami?

Lunch Meeting with NTU Friend

Had a lunch meeting with a friend from NTU, who had sent me a cny card earlier. Honestly, I have no recollection that I had met him anywhere before.Apparently, he found our first year CAC orientation list during spring cleaning and sent cny card subsequently. I think thats like 12 years back?!

Initially it was weird, but I guess lunch was ok. Found that he is looking to move back into engineering and no longer wants to be in prudential. Apparently he likes photography and is looking to set up a website. Yet another photography buff in the midst.

Think meeting friends from the 'past' often send me into waves of nostalgia.

I really wonder, what have I been doing for the past 10 years?! Everything seems like a dream.

My Favorite song from Goong

One of my favorite songs from Goong

Addiction

I am seriously addicted to watching dvds right now. Especially romantic comedies. Though I dont watch alot of the dramas, but I would re-watch those that I like (think I must have watched kss 5 times,full house 3 times and goong 5 times or more!) I still dont get bored of the shows though, even though I watch them so many times!

My friend said its because I miss out alot when I was growing up as a teenager, so I am making up for 'lost time'.. Is that so? I wonder.. but I know my juvenile tendencies certainly come across as laughable.

Korean Drama

Though I am slower as usual in catching on the craze, but lately I found myself watching a few of the more popular korean dramas (kim sam soon, full house, princess hours and 'shao nu cheng gong ji'). I prefer these dramas to shows like "winter sonata", "stairway to heaven", etc because they are cuter, light hearted and not so heavy. I cant bear to watch a series with tear jerking scenes at every corner, or a love story that has so many twists and turns it makes my head spin.

The love scenes in Korean drama are often very 'subtle' and heart wrenching. perhaps because the starting is difficult, the ending is often sweeter. :D
I have a friend who cannot stand such soapy series though. He thinks its superficial and cant understand the obsession with these dramas.

Went on the net to search for links relating to korean drama and found this http://www.koreandrama.org & http://www.hancinema.net Think these are quite good to read about the synopsis of dramas thats been screened and you can see how widespread this 'k-drama' bug has spread...when you read the comments by the readers.
If any of you has any good korean (I prefer funny cutesy types to tragedies) drama to share, please let me know!

Happy Valentine's Day

That dreaded day is here alas. I dont recall ever enjoying this day even when I was "attached". Its going to be just another day for me. I'd probably work late to finish my project. Just like what Rae had 'observed'..It would be a non-event for me. Though I dont enjoy the day, because it reminds me too potently that its going to be yet another normal quiet day with no SO anywhere in sight. I think its still an occasion with some merit. For one, its a day thats good for people wishing to express their secret admiration or love, especially for those who are not too brave.. Its also a day to be creative with expressing love and without risking been tagged as "corny" or "tacky"..

I wish all a Happy Valentine's Day nevertheless and hope you have a fantastic time with your loved ones today. For those who are single ,I hope you wont be spending it working late like moi!

Saying I dont "believe" in valentine's day would be hypocritical. Though I enjoy my freedom and single lifestyle, at the end of the day , I cannot deny that Love is wonderful and I truely hope that there will come a day when I can spend everyday in true valentine fashion.