When do you call it Quits?

Dont worry, I am fine. Just a sudden whiff of inspiration and caught the word bug.. so since inspiration strikes, why not keep the words coming? (Though this is quite a long post.. sorry ah!)

Are there times when you just want to quit a situation? when you want to quit on a person? when you want to quit from 'life' ? (opps, this is too morbid.. just wild imaginings..) ** Its not easy to want to call it quits. At the risk of been labelled a failure, 'flighty', 'unreliable', not steady, it takes long consideration and trepidation before one can safely say 'i quit'. (Nope, not thinking of quitting my job, just thinking about things in general)

Since calling it quits can be applied to so many situations and would probably be too complicating to talk about it in one broad stroke.. I like to just explore it from the relationship stance point (aka marriage in this case).

Case 1 : You are in a relationship with the girl you love. She told you she had a short term affair which ended just a couple months before your coming marriage. Her colleague subsequently got married too, and even after marriage, he still pester your girl. Your girl having a soft spot for him still, though wanting to end the relationship, ignored him to her best abilities. But they still meet sometimes for lunch.. and he would harrass her into quitting the marriage to you. She did not , deciding you are the one for her. You think all is well and you get married. Just a couple of months after your marriage, your girl tell you she is still in love with the colleague , who has now quit her workplace , no longer harrassing her.. but wait, your girl is in love with him still?! You had all this while pandered to your girls' wishes. Changing your job for a better paying one, to suit her wishes for a better life.. but now wait.. she is still in love with her ex colleague.. What should you do? A) continue B) Quit

Case 2: You know your sweetheart of 7 years and you got married. Upon marriage, you discover his penchant for anger and he gets really aggressive on himself when he is upset things dont go his way. You never see this side of him before. You cant handle.. and his character flaws stick out like a sore thumb.. You love him, but you dont like this aspect of him.. What should you do then? Stay , helping him to change? or Quit?

Case 3 : You discover your husband's secret and its tearing the family apart.. Though your heart is broken, you still love him and you are really not getting young anymore. Staying together will remind you constantly of the pain , staying apart, will mean a life of loneliness since it would be foolhardy to expect to find another partner to continue on. You cant bear the thought of staying alone even if you have children. What do you do ? Stay or go?

When do you call it quits? Its not an easy decision to make.. its a case of Damn if you do, Damn if you dont..

Take Case 1 for example. These two people really shouldnt get married in the first place. I'd think that as a rational observer.. But if you are in the guy's position, how would you react? Is love in such a case so selfish that it hurts ? Or its an addictive game that wont end?

How about Case 2 ? When you are in love and you marry your partner, and only discover the flaw much later on, a flaw you cannot stand.. do you stay together because of your vow? or do you quit, because you dont wish to be miserable?

Case 3? If you stay, can you face the betrayer? Can you still sleep on the same bed together? Can Time heal? If you quit, where can you go ? Can you really live a life of solitude now that you have become so accustomed to living as part of a couple ?

These cases occur every day to the point of appearing cliche. Different people of course make decisions in different ways. I hope I never have to face such situation, though i am probably dreaming. Life isnt a bed of roses indeed! With each decision we make, we gotta bite the bullet and pay the price.

So.. when do you call it quits? I say 'love yourself first' .. dont sacrifice your soul for the relationship because at the end of it all, you'd hate yourself for it.. Once resentment eats the relationship, its a goner anyway... Dont you know, love can turn to hate in a jiffy? so if the relationship takes too much of you, then consider 'calling it quits' .. too flighty? too impatient? I dont know.. everyone's baseline is different.. so check your baseline and tolerance.. But whatever it is.. dont be a sucker.

Sure, love is irrational and everyone is a fool for a time. Just hope the effects will wear off and you can wake up with clear thinking. Solitude is not that scary. Hanging on for dear life despite the pain is.. so remember to ask yourself.. what is my baseline and when do I call it quits / If I should call it quits ..**

(By the way, at times I think love is overrated.. at the end of the day, though there is love and chemistry.... marriage really is more than love)

**disclaimer: such discussion is entirely of the intellectual kind and not to be taken as any 'advice' or 'encouragement' that its ok to quit'... (must protect my 'arse' mah...)

Rainy Night

I love rainy nights like this.. when all I hear is the slight pitter patter of raindrops .
I love the smell of rain and the comfort it brings for I know I could snuggle in my warm covers later.
I love the lightning skirting across the sky brightening the landscape with its flirty flashes
I love the slight rumble of thunder, lulling me to sleep with its foregone melody

Oh, how I love soft rainy nights like this..