My Nasty Self

I can be quite a Bitch at times. Nasty and curt. Those colors show through during work at times, though most of the times, I think I am quite flexible and easygoing. Today , I wrote a reply to a colleague who was responding to some email. My reply was , to some harsh and curt. To me, though I was only pointing out the obvious.

Nevertheless, I dont want to apologise for what I think. Its my opinion , and I think that I am entitled to it. I know I definitely am not been smart or strategic or wise or having any high EQ. But in the matter I am talking about, there is no point to be nice, because been nice wont bring me results, as I so discover.

My nasty self inspired me to pen the following "urban heated exchange of words" that look suspiciously like a "rap" . if u got ideas on how to make it more INTENSE or more NASTY or more TRASHY further, let me know.


So I am not cool , yay, so I am a "twat", yay
Nope, baby, nope, baby, I am not that hot yah!
my mood is freezing good yeh
it aint bad ,no but what you said makes me snap yah!
Dont you mess with me , dont you mess with me!
Get out now if you cant deal with my heat
Dont come with your limp excuses and junk up my beat
shut up now and just get on with it !
Just deal with it and quit been a Drip!

L-O-V-E

After watching korean dramas, and the like, I am beginning to wonder what its really like to truely fall in love? I confess that I forgot how it feels like. I havent feel that heartbeat, or all the works for a very long time. If its to be like what is 'experienced' in the love dramas, then I definitely dont feel that!

I havent been so rational for the longest time and its quite a strange thing for me. Searching for the right words, I think I mean I havent really see myself so skeptical and cynical for the longest time ever. Maybe to some, I am not really that cynical... but still its a far cry from my 'too gullible self'.

Is it like what its like in the korean love dramas? yet to love that way must be so taxing on the soul..To love in such a manner must take alot of energy and toil. I doubt people have so much energy to 'burn' in that way.. Is it like the fairy tales? Yet that is really strange in our world. Just like show 'Enchanted' I watched recently with my friend. To be so doe eyed and innocent and trusting about the wonders of Love just dont do it in our modern society. Cynicism seem more at home here!

So what is L-O-V-E?


I suppose its not melodramatic, I suppose its steady and I suppose it'd be here before one ever know it.

But still.. I have no idea. The definition of it certainly is different for each person.

2008 is coming soon

It seems not so long ago, I was wondering what 'resolutions' to make for 2007. Barely have I made those 'resolutions' and 2008 is round the corner, in another month only. Already I feel december is almost over..

Shudder, Gulp huge gasps of air, as I see 2008 approaching, and Gulp again.. another year is here!

I am not going to 'rush' to strike off any checklist as 2008 comes.. its going to be yet another quiet affair. .though this year, my diving friends have arranged to meet for 'count down'. I am wondering why really...

Perhaps if we dont usher in the new year with any 'celebration', time would 'mesh' together, and there wont be much difference between the years... As I recall my past, my memory is really marked by milestones, rather than time or chronology.. sad to say, there were not many significant milestones for me to cram my mind with..

What do I wish for 2008? Hopefully I'd have lots of money, good health, love and friendship and oh Peace and harmony at home. Thats so Important. :P (not world peace.. i doubt that will happen anytime soon)

Sundays

I used to spend sundays going out and meeting friends too. These days, I try to keep my sundays free and dont meet anyone on this day. Its sacred to me, not exactly in the religious sense, but rather I like to spend my sunday with family or just to chill at home alone.

These days we would sometimes go out for dinner at nice restaurants or lunch in new places. We never used to dine out much, simply cos my mum is such a fantastic cook. But now, once in a while, we would dine out on sundays. I especially enjoy my sunday today. Not only do I get to sleep late today, I also just rest and did nothing much. That to me is luxury as my schedule is usually v tight the rest of the week. At times, I have dreary work deadlines to meet especially when I work on middle east programs, but the sloth in me would invariably take a short cut, and leave work to be done on mondays..

I love my 'alone' time and its nice to be able to relax in the comfort of my room. Perhaps I am getting older? Quiet times and resting are more and more important to me now than before..

Clubbing and Liu San Jie

Remember those old shows like liu san jie, when groups of men and women would sing along side each other, or to each other, and invariably they'd be serenading to each other about their love, and dance away? In modern context, this is akin to 'clubbing' when you'd still see people 'go in droves' and check out the scene (as some people say).

Familiar?

Thank you dear friends for your lovely wishes

Finally my birthday was over yesterday. V pleasantly surprised to receive birthday greetings from quite a few people I werent expecting to hear from. Thank you very much for your lovely wishes.

I am glad for a quiet celebration. Met my close buddies for an uncut version of Lust Caution yesterday after massage and facial (took half day leave after i touch down from dubai.. had to drag my feet to massage, as I was still v sleepy!)

Tony leung look so sad, his eyes speak volumes. I like him a lot. think he and Tang wei acted real well. Wang Li Hom is rather disappointing. Didnt act that well, think he is much much better with music.

I am feeling thankful for the companionship and friendship I have. thanks v much dear pals.

I think I have known some of you for the past 10 years or more , some I have known for more than 5 years. Others, since I am 18. Hmm, we have come a long way since then huh? Hope our friendship age well like good wine / or single malt whiskey.(the alcoholic in me talking here!:P )

Unknown in the future

yet another colleague resigned. I guess in these good times , people tend to leave faster. Alittle sad, but also realise I dont know what my future holds. Nor do I know what I want to do in the future. The future remains a big question mark for me.

Now I am lost basically.

Escapism

I felt buried in my work lately. Theres so much to do lately. Whenever I felt suffocated, I feel this immense need to escape, and I find that escaping into the world of drama a good release for me. I enjoy watching dramas, particularly happy ones. Though lately, I find myself more drawn to sad , melancholic stories. I guess life is too mundane at times. In our highly connected, breakneck speed kind of world, I find no real good way to 'escape' other than watching drama, when I see the 'lives of the characters' unfold and view the world through their lives.

Perhaps my own life story is too mundane and boring, hence, I enjoy watching drama, when things are often magnified, to create interesting twists and turns.

Through drama, I can rest my mind and watch stories unforld mindlessly.. and best part is its got nothing to do with me. I found my 'freedom' while I remain a 'captive audience' watching drama.

Let me think if I have other forms of escape. I am fortunate that I could 'escape' this way, even momentarily and I am very thankful for this.