Can such an arrangement work ?

Someone I know commented some time back that perhaps marriages shouldnt be forever but rather be made on a term basis, renewable once the term is up. For eg. Marriage based on 5 years plan, then both parties will live together as husband and wife for these 5 years. When time is up, then renew on how both parties feel at that point in time. The premise for such an 'arrangement' is that humans arent suitable for marriage now, particularly to face the same person day in day out for the rest of the person's life. Also, it will make 'both parties' work 'harder' and not take each other for granted, so as a result, the marraige will last longer. What do you think?

I think this arrangement wont work. This is like a halfway measure to a full commitment which is what marriage requires. How would the foundation for such a union be if its built with the premise that there could be no brightness of future? Many a marriage had failed because one or both the parties felt they were taken for granted and not given due respect. In such a case, I think even in such temporary arrangements, the union wont last since due consideration is already lacking in the first place.

I think all boils down to individual's mindset. The person who commented on that probably never had a wish to commit full time, hence such solution would work well. But for the rest of the population, marriage the good old style probably works better.

No matter what 'style' , ultimately its not the 'format' of it that determines whether relationships last. If the basic ingredients like respect, love, care, concern, consideration, communication (the list seems to go on forever huh?!) are not present, probably the union is a short lived one.

One conclusion : Humans are complex and tricky. Hence, tis not easy road ahead!

Ever saw someone you rather not see?

Met someone I rather not meet at an art opening today. Glad the person didnt see me. There were some occasions in the past when I experience this. A couple of times, I had no choice but to say hi, as the person (different people) had acknowledged me and I had to make small talk. You ever encounter that?

I rather avoid such situation rather than confront. Thats a problem , I know. Havent get over this habit..

Shock

Neko told me that a schoolfriend of ours had passed on. She was suffering from bladder cancer. Thats the first time I hear of this illness...

I am shocked at the fraility and uncertainty of life..

She was the same age as me.

Am reminded once again, never to take our blessings for granted..

Those Were The Days

A friend of mine was telling me about how she'd tear over this song.She just heard of it sometime in April. Oh yah, this song is no stranger to me. I am a sucker for songs in the 70s and 80s.. Hence, I am definitely familiar. I used to sing to it and each time I sing it, it reminds me of days gone by.. and I'd get all depressed and teary listening to it!

How about you? What songs get you teary?

The lyrics are as follows :

Those Were the Days

Once upon a time there was a tavern
Where we used to raise a glass or two
Remember how we laughed away the hours
And dreamed of all the great things we would do

Those were the days my friend
We thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance forever and a day
We'd live the life we choose
We'd fight and never lose
For we were young and sure to have our way.
La la la la...
Those were the days, oh yes those were the days

Then the busy years went rushing by us
We lost our starry notions on the way
If by chance I'd see you in the tavern
We'd smile at one another and we'd say

Those were the days my friend
We thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance forever and a day
We'd live the life we choose
We'd fight and never lose
For we were young and sure to have our way.
La la la la...
Those were the days, oh yes those were the days

Just tonight I stood before the tavern
Nothing seemed the way it used to be
In the glass I saw a strange reflection
Was that lonely woman really me

Those were the days my friend
We thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance forever and a day
We'd live the life we choose
We'd fight and never lose
For we were young and sure to have our way.
La la la la...
Those were the days, oh yes those were the days

Through the door there came familiar laughter
I saw your face and heard you call my name
Oh my friend we're older but no wiser
For in our hearts the dreams are still the same

Those were the days my friend
We thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance forever and a day
We'd live the life we choose
We'd fight and never lose
For we were young and sure to have our way.
La la la la...
Those were the days, oh yes, those were the days

Computers

Last friday was almost like a holiday for me, because I cant send any emails out using company server.. Because the mail server was been migrated to another server in the morning 11am. So though I could receive emails, I couldnt do anything. Server suppose to work tmorrow. I spent the day reading articles. Was superbly boring.

I think ours must be the only company that would actually migrate mails in the morning. Oh well, certainly not complaining.

Le Bistrot

Met some of my friends for dinner at Le Bistrot at Stadium Walk. Nice cosy little french restaurant. The food is really good , and we had fun and cracked jokes. My friend brought his colleagues along, and we had a ball of a time. If you like good hearty french food , then I recommend this place. The portions are good. Entree + Main goes for $38 bucks, while Entree+ Main + Dessert at $48. I like the fixed pricing, and find it reasonable.

Go try it sometime! :D

Ken Japanese Noodle House - Orchard Plaza

Had a delicious bowl of Chashu ramen at this tiny Japanese eatery , right across cuppage plaza , beside Ah meng restaurant (which also serve good local foood) . The soup base of the ramen is very flavourful.. and marvellous. I'd go back again if I can..Highly recommended..

Watched transformers after that.. I find it ok.. entertaining, but I wont be watching it again.. Story line is so so. I wonder whats the deal with 'aliens'. Many hollywood films would invariably talk about aliens, etc. Sometimes I wonder if its the workings of scientology.. or who knows, there maybe 'aliens'..:p

As usual, the machines fighting against each other remind me of the 'tumble and rumble' games Americans so love. think WWF, American Football, Monster Wheels.. Of course the graphics are great, alot more fine than the tumble and rumble of these 'loud antics, but still, tis not far off.

The last 30 minutes was rather slow.. lengthy fight and all, I lost focus. I mean its entertaining (some parts were v funny) and earlier part was nice, but still.. how much more can you fight?

So given a chance, I wont watch it again..

070707

There would be 777 couples getting wedded today on 070707. I suppose in 2008, there would be 888 couples getting wedded on 080808, and 999 couples on 090909, and so forth... Or perhaps there would be special lottery on 080808..

Such is our obsession with numbers. Even our identities also get a number, so as to 'record' our existence. Lose that number, you lose your identity and you would very well be 'non-existent'.. Or we could even learn to 'predict' our 'luckiness' with our birthdates with numerology, calculating how our birthdates add up and what lucky number would that be ?

Or on a practical note, we would be forecasting where the stock market goes next, hows the inflation rate? Whats the GST rate now? Interest rates?What would be the next highest selling price for a flat in say, queenstown? would there be any record breakers in the olympic games, whats the score? How much are your grades? How much do you earn ? How old are you ? Whats your weight? whats your vital statistics? Whats your baby's weight? How much you bought the car for ? What telephone number to call to get the cab, ask for information , for helpline? What bus to take? When is the deadline? What is the time?

All these questions pretty much sum up what goes on in our lives everyday... Such is our 'obsession'. .. I simply cant imagine a life without 'numbers'.. Though I am horrid at it.. I fear it, I have to face it.. Some even venture to say numbers, maths, is a 'universal' language.. though I prefer to think that music is.. since I have an aversion to math and numbers.. (mayb that explains why I am bad financially!)

Oh well, the mundane life.. Cant live without it, cant live with it..

May as well make 'numbers' fun.. so anyone going to play blackjack? Or buy lottery this weekend? Maye we can try for 070707 huh? who knows, we may just make a killing..

Manado Pictures

I dont think I'd be able to upload everything here.. just a sampler of what we saw in Manado. Upload some of the pictures at flickr. check this out http://www.flickr.com/photos/7795579@N04

Darwin's Nightmare ....

Watched a harrowing documentary yesterday. I must say its a sobbering 2 hrs plus documentary. On first take, it looks amateurish, but the tale takes a sordid dark turn and the plot thickens. Check the link www.hubertsauper.com for some of the other films the director had produced.

Stripped of snazzy images, special effects and glossy scripts, you see a stark reality that is happening everyday. I come away from it having a new sense of awareness and helplessness.

There seem no immediate solution for the situation..

As the title aptly puts it.. it is indeed Darwin's Nightmare

New pic of Ethan

Neko said she was 'scared' off by the 'skinnier' pic of Ethan I had posted earlier. I asked her to give me a new one. So here goes.. Isnt he cute? I like his small eyes.

Hmm, come to think of it. I think guys with small eyes are more charming and cute. :D

Que Sera Sera , Whatever will be will be

The song sums up my thoughts in many matters pretty well...

****************************************
When I was just a little girl

I asked my mother, "What will I be?

Will I be pretty, will I be rich

Here's what she said to me.

Que Sera, Sera,

Whatever will be, will be

The future's not ours, to see

Que Sera, Sera

What will be, will be.

When I was just a child in school,

I asked my teacher, "What should I try?

Should I paint pictures?

Should I sing songs?"

This was her wise reply:

Que Sera, Sera,

Whatever will be, will be

The future's not ours, to see

Que Sera, Sera

What will be, will be.

When I grew up and fell in love,

I asked my lover, "What lies ahead?

Will we have rainbows

Day after day?"

Here's what my lover said:

Que Sera, Sera,

Whatever will be, will be

The future's not ours, to see

Que Sera, Sera

What will be, will be.


words and music by: Jay Livingston and Ray Evans

My godson - Ethan

He's my good friend, Neko's son. The photo was taken many months back. Think now he would be much bigger. He is v v cute, v fair too, just like his mum (whose nick name is incidentally 'bei bei', meaning white white. While mine is 'or or' , 'black black'.:P)

My personality is somewhat 'rare'?

Tried the personality test on my sweet lullaby website too ..results as follows.Guess I am more 'common' than Oddy.. haha, she isnt oddy for no reason afterall. :D

Your Personality is Somewhat Rare (ENFP)

Your personality type is enthusiastic, giving, cautious, and loyal. Only about 8% of all people have your personality, including 9% of all women and 6% of all men You are Extroverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Perceiving.

How Rare Is Your Personality?

And there is Ageism...

Tsk Tsk.. so women above 35 are not welcomed on ladies night at Powerhouse.. 'Ageism' is indeed truely kicking alive..

Indeed Ladies nights are ploys by club owners to 'attract' the 'nubile', 'pretty', 'young' , 'hot' ladies so that the men will follow them like bees to honey and Pay to enter the clubs, thereby increasing revenue for these clubs.. But hey, with an aging population in Singapore and with a sizeable population belonging to women above 35, surely clubs know better than to ruffle these feathers? Afterall, who hasnt heard of 'hell hath no fury like woman scorned'? Most of these women I know earn good incomes and are attractive, nubile, rich (case in point, Celina Lim, who is one such hot chick). Surely dennis , you wouldnt be denying entry to your rich tai tai friends who want to enjoy ladies' night?

Lets turn the tables around on this age old issue (pun intended) and look at ways to pander to this group of women..

Imagine a club that features 'Women Power' nights when on such nights, only women who are established and of a certain breed, need enter..(No ah lians or students) Instead of free drinks, these women would get the coveted attention of cute, handsome, young waiters who are straight, who would pander to their needs for listening ears and just listen to these women talk. (something like going to a 'shrink'). The club isnt closed to men of course. Men who enter on such nights must be young, not above 40, and cool looking. :p ..

u think this will work?

With more power women these days.. I dont see why not.. :p

I'd be first to queue up.. haha

Last Year's Salaries Highest in 6 years ?

Just as I was talking about how salaries didnt increase very much, the saturday chinese papers carry the above headlines "Last year's salaries is the highest in 6 years". The areas with the highest increase are in workers with specialised skills. Average salaries for professionals have risen to $2000 compared to $1850 10 years back, While lower skill works' salaries eg. cleaning workers have dropped from $860 to $600.

Component of the increase is due to rise in basic salaries of 3.6% and counting in 2.18 months of bonuses.. However the papers just mention that the inflation rate is 1% last year, so the real increase in wage is 3.5%.The increase is all well and good. But let us not forget that there was also pay freeze, pay cuts since the financial crisis, retrenchment, and restructuring. Hence,in my cynical opinion, this increase is hardly anything to celebrate by.

Furthermore, costs did increase over the years. Lets just take the simple GST hike for example. From 3% to 5% and now 7%. Just counting the increase from 3%-7% over the past 6 years, the increase in GST ALONE is 4%.

What's my point? Well, statistics aside (I am horribly bad at it anyway), its good salaries did increase, however costs still increase alot more. And if skillset doesnt increase , then the sad reality is salaries would just go down, like the case of cleaning workers.

Hence, headlines are just sensational, but truth is between the lines.

The Rush Before GST Hike

Yes.. GST will increase to 7% from July onwards. You see crowds mulling the malls, in a mad rush to shop during the sale , to beat the hike. I tried to shop.. but alas, the crowds are too much for me.. Couldnt find anything and decide to make do with what I have. Afterall, I do have many clothes.. just that I got bored of the fashion. Perhaps I should buy quality and not quantity from now on..

Costs would definitely increase with the hike.. Alas salaries didnt increase very much.. Over the years, I think the real value of money has decreased considerably. Though some superscale civil servants would definitely earn sky high salaries.. they are not me.. too Bad for me..

After the initial shock of 'higher' costs, we would all go back to working hard, quietly slogging away. The pain would be there in the beginning, and after which we'd get used to the 'pain' and then life goes on... Change is painful, but I think we are a nation that get used to change very fast...

Afterall, what can one do? Nothing will change. Been the practical nation that we are, we probably would just complain, voice our grouses, let off steam , then bite the bullet , to get 'get more money'. We know riots wont help, will make us worse off.. we know wilful rebellion doesnt make things better..We rather get down to "REAL" business..

Sound mellow? meek, unthinking, cynical? Well, perhaps. But I think its because we are very practical.

Singaporeans are a practical lot. We are driven by it, oiled by it.. Honestly, I think tis the same everywhere. Money walks the talk.

Yep, Just show me the money

Irritants

At times, I really have no patience for people I deemed as irritants. They range from boot lickers to braggers to people who simply irks me. Some categories I have listed... not exhaustive.. (Not like I am saint... but lately.. met many such people)

A) Boot Lickers- they like to show how they put in so much effort for the company , how everyone else isnt as committed or devoted. Simple solutions are exaggerated 10 x or more , to show how ingenious they are.. Other people's mistakes are magnified 100 x. Theirs are usually hushed up. THey always have the LAST WORD

B) Braggers - they tell me their pay have increased, where they'v been for holidays, how their partners love them, dote on them, how their friends say they take planes like taking buses.., how their house is so big they get lost in it.. you get the idea?

C) Workaholics - they dont ever stop working. Even when you meet them, you can see their minds are elsewhere.. still on work. Every conversation is likely to lead back to work..

D) Stick-in-the-mud - they dont like change, not flexible, want their way or the high way. Hanging out with them is no fun. Yet they are so in their own world, they think you are having fun. Worse, they think only their way is right, your way not right. Any change to their plans, you are bound to get a ticking off..

E) Flirts - Mind you, I am not against flirting.. but some people take it to new heights. They'd flirt with anything that moves.. even in inappropriate situations. They think they are god's gift to mankind, to put it VERy CYnically.

I think I shant list any more categories.. put anymore, I may as well say I cant stand humans, including myself. I mean, all of us , including me, are guilty of been any of the above category albeit in small doses. What I am saying is really, there are some irritants I met who are extremes...

Friends, not referring to u of course.... I just need to let off steam...

CHEMISTRY - WHAT defines it?

Since sweet lullaby and odd were talking about chemistry, I'd like to give my take on it too..

Does Chemistry equate to heart beating very fasT? Eyes rolling or blushing when the person of desire is nearby? Sweaty palms, dry throat? Shuddering or stuttering speech when talking to him/her? If any of these strike you, perhaps, there is 'chemistry' in the relation?

Does chemistry signify deep connection with a person? that perhaps this is THE ONE? I am not sure. I dont think anyone has the answers. All I can say is that chemistry does wear off..

I too experienced such potent chemistry before. I too went with my heart on some of these occasions.Looking at the magnitude I felt from the chemistry, you'd think it'd last forever.. At last it didnt. When i saw the person I had so much 'chemistry;' with some years later, I found myself wondering why did I even fall in love in the first place? Whatever chemistry I felt I had had gone. This happened a couple more times.. which leads me to the conclusion... chemistry is the intial attraction, growing love in the relationship is the key.. chemistry can die off, yet love can grow stronger ... (or can grow weaker with neglect too)

I dont know about whether chemistry is art or science. I just know this.. its transient and it wears off.. so gotta keep 'feeding' it? what can 'feed the chemistry'? I like to think its love.. but I think even love can also grow weak? So what feeds the 'chemistry' in couples? I can only think of one word.. (this is just my own opinion.. maybe I am too one dimensional with this 'answer').. that is

COMMITMENT

Imagine.. you have chemistry with a person.. heart beats, blush blush.. but no commitment, no agreeing to stay together..no consideration for each other to want to commit and make something together.. its purely a rush of emotions.. do you think this will last? Human Beings been famous for a whole gamut of emotions.. can such fleeting feelings be an accurate barometer of soul connection? Is it just raging hormones or pure lust? Can it mean something deeper?
Or it will just be yet another forgotten memory ?

What? So many Millionnaires? But I aint it

Read in the papers about how the number of millionnaires in Singapore has increased, with record high in 2007 (must be the workings of proceeds from en bloc sales). With the economy doing so well, and sentiment running high, I guess everyone's spirits must be quite good generally (where work is concerned).

Alas , I am not one of those millionnaires. I am in fact very very very far from IT. Sad to say , I still have nothing to my name. Neither a house, nor a big fat bank account. No branded 'chi chi' bags to dress me up, nor sparkling diamonds anywhere. I am in short PLAIN AVERAGE.

Am I lamenting? Of course, If I could be rich, that would be great. WHo doesnt want a jetset life, with holidays in exotic places, and shopping without looking at the budget? I once shopped with a tai tai and I must say , shopping with her is great experience, because she could just walk in a shop and buy whatever she fancy without batting an eyelid at the price..

But I am just one of the girls, so I still gotta watch my wallet (in addition to my waistline) and can only wonder about the joys of such limitness shopping. Am I missing out much ? Maybe? But I also learn I can make do with very little as well.

If you have lived with very little, you'd fully realise that you really dont need much to have a relative amount of comfort in Singapore.True , the minute we get out of our home, we'd spend , but there are many places that can be enjoyed without much $ too..

How do I know? Well, in my early 20s, I was unemployed for a period of time. Not having much to spend, I'd to get creative with how I can stretch my dollar or lack of it in order to satisfy my curious wanderings.. I discover these 'FREE" Actitivies that I have derived much joy from :

1) I can spend the whole day in National Library, borrowing the dvds, or music cds, or browsing books and be entertained
2) I can go to botanic gardens and enjoy free concerts
3) I can go for art openings and enjoy free flow of wine, and food. You'd be surprised.. some of the wine and food are from very good caterers (think michaelangelo pizzas, etc)
4) I can go to THAT CD SHOP and immerse myself in the atmosphere, listening to JAzz on their fantastic speakers.
5) Go for a run by the beach or laze by the beach

Of course, transport is needed on any of the above activities. In Singapore, even on this small red little dot, it does take at least an hr by public transport to go from one end of the island to the other..

That said, I still dream of becoming a millionnaire.. though I know I dont have much luck with the lottery.. Maybe there'd be some miracle round the corner.. :D